How to recognize relapse
Thanks to the Recovery Network

One of the major challenges in recovery is the reality that relapse may occur.

How to recognize relapse

One of the major challenges in recovery from any addiction is the reality that relapse may occur, particularly in the early months of abstinence when relapse rates are high. At this time, we need to be extra vigilant and highly self-aware in order to stay committed to our newly found path and avoid being tempted back into our old addictive patterns.

Relapse is not a single event, as is often believed, but a process that builds up days, weeks, or even months before the addictive cycle recommences. Relapse is not unusual and indeed is probably better viewed as part of the journey towards recovery. The majority of addicts repeat the cycle of change many times before they are able to sustain long-term sobriety. If you do relapse, learning why may help you avoid it next time.

Signs of relapse
Being clean from any addiction is an ongoing process that requires both abstinence from mood-altering substances and changes in your behavior, attitudes, feelings and thinking. When we are at risk of relapse, we may allow more negative behavior, thinking, attitudes and feelings to creep in. Below is a list of relapse symptoms, the list is not exhaustive but may help you recognize whether you are in danger.

Behavior

• Arguing more frequently for no apparent reason
• Getting angry easily
• Smoking more/increasing caffeine intake
• Eating irregularly or more than before
• Being compulsive in another area, such as cleaning, washing or exercising
• Losing your daily structure
• Attending fewer fellowship meetings or stopping altogether

Attitudes

• Convinced you will never ever use again
• Negative about life
• Lying and manipulating others
• Openly rejecting help from others
• Dissatisfied with life
• Losing confidence in your ability to remain abstinent
• Imposing your recovery on other people
• Adopting a non-structured lifestyle, no boundaries
• Not caring about sobriety

Feelings

• Moody and/or depressed
• Angry with self or others
• Euphoric
• Bored
• Self-pitying with self-defeating beliefs
• Lonely and isolated
• Unresolved guilt and shame
• Unreasonably resentful
• Hopeless, there seem to be no solutions
• Wanting to be happy but not knowing how
• Fearful about the future or life without using
• Hungry, angry, lonely or tired and believing using would relieve the symptoms

Thinking

• Believing you are cured and could now control your intake (reactivation of denial)
• Minimizing the effects and consequences of addiction on your life
• Thinking you can drink as long as you stay off cocaine or cross-addicting to another process or substance
• Being unable to concentrate or achieve tasks or goals
• Focusing solely on one area of your life (having tunnel vision)
• Having periods of confusion
• Being less able to plan constructively, inattention to detail
• Daydreaming, always thinking “if only…”
• Believing alcohol/drugs/using is necessary in order to have fun
• Growing impatient with the recovery plan, things aren’t happening fast enough

Typically, relapse progresses from stability through a period of increasing distress that leads to physical or emotional collapse. To understand how warning signs can progress, it is important to look at the interaction between the recovery and relapse processes, both of which have six key stages.

The recovery process

• Abstaining from alcohol, food, drugs, gambling, sex, co-dependent behavior etc
• Separating from people, places and things that promote the use of addiction and establishing a social network that supports recovery
• Stopping self-defeating behaviors that prevent awareness of painful feelings and irrational thoughts
• Learning how to manage feelings and emotions responsibly without resorting to compulsive behavior or the use of alcohol, food, drugs, gambling etc
• Learning to change addictive thinking patterns that create painful feelings and self-defeating behaviors
• Identifying and changing the mistaken core beliefs about oneself, others and the world that promote irrational thinking

The relapse process

When people who have had a stable recovery begin the relapse process, they simply reverse the six stages of recovery. Therefore they begin to:

• Have a mistaken belief that causes irrational thoughts
• Return to addictive thinking patterns that cause painful feelings
• Engage in compulsive, self-defeating behaviors as a way of avoiding the feelings
• Seek out situations that involve people who use alcohol, drugs, etc.
• Find themselves in more pain, thinking less rationally and behaving less responsibly
• Manage to find themselves in a situation where using seems like a logical escape from their pain, they return to their addiction

Steps to avoid relapse

“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you always got”

Be self-aware and look after yourself
The most important thing you can do in this early stage of exposure to relapse is to take good care of yourself by listening to and attending to your feelings. Emotional discomfort is a sign from your psyche that something needs to be acknowledged and dealt with kindly and compassionately.

Attend a fellowship meeting
Sharing at meetings is a magical experience that has the knack of making problems go away. The moment we can talk openly and honestly, without being judged, our issues begin to dissipate and our feelings of isolation and despair are often replaced by a sense of connectivity and wellbeing.

Practice relaxation or meditation
See the section under Meditation and Breathing for some simple tips to help you train your mind to help you through this period.

Do something nurturing for yourself
Have a bath, a massage, read a wonderful book, arrange to meet a friend whose company you enjoy, watch a favorite film … there are a whole host of ideas you could choose from.

Do something else
They say that to go further, you must go beyond. Some people say just do nothing, at least for 30 minutes. This is better than using, but it’s best to go one step further and do something else instead. Something positive, like going for a walk, taking exercise, having a nice warm bath, even doing something helpful for someone else.

Get outdoors
Sometimes being outside in the fresh air surrounded by nature can be inspiring and invigorating. Concentrate on the colors, the energy, the flowers, animals and trees, there is something wonderful to behold right in front of our eyes.

Talk to someone
This is where having a sponsor is really helpful. But if you don’t have a sponsor, talking to anyone who really cares about your wellbeing and recovery can make you feel more positive and motivated.

Have an honest talk with yourself
If you don’t go to a meeting, follow your fantasy of using through to its logical conclusion, not just thinking about the ‘good’ aspects of using, but also reminding yourself where it took you in the end. Our obsessive thoughts, like our addictions, are often intense and short-sighted and it’s good to be reminded of the ‘whole picture’.

Ask for help
The first rule of recovery is to be able to ask for help, to reach out and get support from others. If you need assistance there will be plenty of people in recovery only too willing give it. Just ask!

Eat properly
See the Nutrition and exercise section for tips on how to best take care of your nutritional needs.

Exercise regularly
Exercise is a mood enhancer and will lift our spirits and give us something else to think about other than our craving or addiction.

Don’t be isolated
Our addictive side thrives on isolation, so when you find yourself wanting to be alone and not in company most of the time and not in company, ring your own internal alarm bell and get connected swiftly!

Be honest
Honesty in recovery is paramount; if we lie to ourselves and others it is impossible for us to get well.

Use positive affirmations
Sadly; our own inner voices or internal dialogues are usually our own worst enemies. Truthfully, if we spoke to our friends the way we speak to ourselves most of the time, they would probably have all deserted us by now! Can you treat yourself as you would a dear friend and say encouraging things to yourself rather than use negative expletives? Remind yourself of your good points, of what you are doing well, of traits and characteristics you like about yourself. You need to learn how to be your own best friend and dump the enemy, who is certainly not helping you.

Live in the here and now
Addicts have a habit of living in the future or in the past. We disconnect from the present moment and turn our attention instead to our internal dialogue and fantasies. Counter this tendency by making concerted efforts to stay in the present. Keep your thoughts in the moment without projecting into the future or forever re-running the past.

One final point!
It is imperative that as part of your recovery you learn about the relapse process and devise your own plan to help prevent it happening to you. You need to develop your own strategy and look at ways to avoid your personal triggers and know what warning signs are significant for you.

Please look at the relapse prevention planner and questions so that you can design your own recovery plan. This will give you a prevention procedure that will aid your recovery greatly and give you the tools you need to maintain sobriety in the long term.