HOW CAN YOU BEST ASSIST THE CHEMICALLY DEPENDENT

A FAMILY DISEASE

With thanks to Daryl Sampson - M.Ed.,Cert. In Substance Abuse

 The Orchard Treatment Centre

1. Educate yourself about ADDICTION – read literature to gain a better understanding of the addictive process and how it impacts the psychological, physical and spiritual aspects of the afflicted person.

2. Educate yourself about the RECOVERY process – attend some twelve step support groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-Anon, Narcotics Anonymous, Nar-Anon, Cocaine Anonymous, Co-dependents Anonymous etc. There are 7512 step groups that have formed out of the original movement A.A. in 1935.

3. Join and participate in the recovery process so that you learn to detach with love and set appropriate BOUNDARIES with the addicted person. Melody Beattie (author) is a good source of information in this regard.

4. Make sure that you are engaged in a thorough program of SELF-CARE so that you have the physical, emotional and spiritual resources to provide suitable help. Take the focus off the addicted person and put it back on yourself.

5. Don’t nag or make threats that cannot be followed through. Say what you mean, mean what you say, don’t say it mean. By ENABLING the addict you may keep them form hitting a bottom that they may need to hit to smash them from their DENIAL.

6. SUPPORT yourself by associating with others that can identify with the territory of dealing with addicted persons. If you isolate you may constantly question yourself and not trust your decisions.

7. Familiarize yourself with RESOURCES available in your community.  So that access can occur for the chemically dependent should they ask for help.

8. Assist others in dealing with CO-DEPENDENCY that evolves when dealing with the addicted person. By transmitting what you have learned you get to be of service to others which enhances your self-esteem and reminds you of the progress you have made. “You can’t keep it unless you give it away”

9. Learn to say NO! and not feel bad about setting this boundary. Unhealthy enmeshment causes both parties to get sicker. “Don’t allow a lack of planning on your part constitute an emergency on my part” You may have to hurt their feelings in order to save their life.

10. You are only as sick as your SECRETS. Addiction thrives in secrecy so don’t be a party to this. Do not cover up or make excuses for the addict. Allow them to face the full consequences of their addiction and poor choices. Reduce the shame and stigma by open, meaningful dialogue about addiction.

You didn’t cause it. You can’t control it. You can’t cure it. You can cope with it!